One and the Same

Cover of One and the Same by Abigail PogrebinTitle: One and the Same: My Life as an Identical Twin and What I've Learned About Everyone's Struggle to Be Singular
Published by: Anchor
Release Date: October 5, 2010
ISBN13: 978-0307279620
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Journalist Abigail Pogrebin is many things—wife, mother, New Yorker—but the one that has defined her most profoundly is “identical twin.” As children, she and her sister, Robin, were inseparable. But when Robin began to pull away as an adult, Abigail was left to wonder not only why, but also about the very nature of twinship. What does it mean to have a mirror image? How can you be unique when somebody shares your DNA?

In One and the Same, Abigail sets off on a quest to understand how genetics shape us, crisscrossing the country to explore the varied relationships between twins, which range from passionate to bitterly resentful. She speaks to the experts and tries to answer the question parents ask most—is it better to encourage their separateness or closeness? And she paints a riveting portrait of twin life, yielding fascinating truths about how we become who we are.



“I devoured it in two days...”

“I observe my twins differently because of Abigail’s book...”

“There are many things to which I related...”
Dr. Susan A. Treloar - University of Queensland, Australia

“One and the Same is a fresh alternative to traditional how-to guidebooks for parents expecting two or more.”
Christina Tinglof

“...a MUST read not only for multiples themselves, but also for the parents who love them.”
Lynda Haddon

“I was immediately drawn in...”
Anna B

“It was exactly the kind of resource I needed....”

“Must-read for all Mothers of Multiples ”

“I could not put the book down”
Amanda Dittlinger

“I expected to enjoy it...but I found it hard to put down.”
Jayme on

“I cannot say enough good things about this book.”
Amanda Nethero

“...Truly lent insight into the way in which twins themselves interact with the world”
Kellie Asaro

“A page-turner chock-filled with information about twins ”
Pamela Weinberg, author of bestselling parent guide: "City Baby"

“I devoured this book”
Rochelle Cunningham

“Enchanting, fascinating....It's a wonderful book.”
Lesley Stahl

“A great job of getting past the clichés of twinship and letting us see the real inner turmoil that can occur as twins each try to work out their journey to becoming a unique individual”
Holly Scheuer

“This is more than journalism; it's a search for personal clarity.”
Pete Croatto

“Painful honesty and scary insight.”
Patricia Niemeyer

“Pogrebin's words seemed spot on...”
Sarah Kliff

“This book about what it means to be a duplicate is smart and revealing and wise—and, well, singular. ”
Sara Nelson

“...a touching, funny, smart book, written with considerable flair”
Andrew Solomon, author of The Noonday Demon

“Funny, insightful, and deeply moving...”
Kerry Kennedy, author of Being Catholic Now

“a witty and compassionate guide to the myths and science of twinship...”
Honor Moore, author of The Bishop’s Daughter

“...beautifully captures the complex intriguing elements of identical twins’ unique joys and challenges”
Nancy L. Segal, Ph.D.


A year after my first book was published, my editors called me in to talk about ideas for my next project. I remember they asked me what I found myself thinking most about, which subject had always preoccupied me. I blurted out, “Twins.”

And then I immediately regretted it. Because writing about twins felt like I was volunteering to do a public striptease. Because being a twin goes to the core of who I am and I was wary of examining that. Because I knew that my twin sister, Robin, would be both supportive and hesitant; not only is she more private than I am but she writes for the New York Times and always wants to maintain a reporter’s remove. Because I knew that as exhilarating as our twinship was growing up, its impact on Robin’s sense of self was more complicated than mine. Because I knew that for me to be honest about my twinship and ask others to be honest about theirs was not to tell the perfect quaint story of how we all dressed alike, tricked people, or swapped boyfriends.

Read the full excerpt