“...Truly lent insight into the way in which twins themselves interact with the world”
—Kellie Asaro
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Oct 2009
23rd
Twins Club review
"Painful honesty and scary insight."
-Patricia Niemeyer
Link: Gemini Crickets - Parents of Multiples Clubs of Silicon Valley
Abigail Pogrebin’s latest book “One and the Same” details a unique perspective of the phenomenon of twins with sometimes painful honesty and scary insight. As a mother of three year old twins, I find most of my decisions limited to toddler-focused issues like how to get my kids to eat vegetables or which preschool to enroll them in or how to discipline them. Abigail’s book is a wake up call that the well being of my children involves much more than meals, academics, and obedience. Crucial to my children’s happiness and overall health is their sense of identity. Abigail raises issues specific to “twinship” that I had mistakenly tried to ignore hoping that if I ignored the fact that they were twins it wouldn’t matter. Backed by scientific research, she points out time and again how the very existence of two individuals fostered in one womb and born only minutes apart will always be an immovable defining relationship. She has extensively interviewed physicians and researchers who concur that there are ways that parents can help foster healthy twin relationships.
But Abigail’s book is much more than a compilation of research facts and data. She has included the personal stories of a variety of twins. Some have gained strength from their twinship, such as the professional football players or the Holocaust survivors she interviewed. Some have deviated drastically from the twinship, in one case going so far as to change genders. And some have lost their twin, whether in the womb or later on in life from disease, suicide, or tragedy such as September 11th, with devastating consequences and subsequent moral dilemmas. Some of these stories are encouraging and reassuring while others are cautionary tales for me. I find myself insinuating my perspective as a mother into each of these stories feeling a gamut of emotions from elation and joy to overwhelming fear and sadness. God willing my children will grow up to have a story of their own to tell.
Perhaps what I applaud Abigail Pogrebin the most for is her courage to reveal the intimate details of her life in print. She is an Ivy League educated accomplished writer and producer who lays bare her own twin angst for all to read. To my surprise, her relationship with her own twin Robin is less than ideal and Abigail is not afraid to address it. In fact, her analysis of her relationship with her twin sister is the thread that holds this engaging book together. I feel as though I travel the journey with her and, in doing so, get to sneak a peek into a life that I, as a non-twin, will never experience or fully understand. In the end, thanks to Abigail’s beautiful writing, I get the privilege of being that much closer to my children. Thank you, Abigail.
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