“a witty and compassionate guide to the myths and science of twinship...”
—Honor Moore, author of The Bishop’s Daughter
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Jan 2010
Twins continue to help us figure everyone else out
Dear Abby: Is the G-spot a myth? A recent study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine (Jan 2010) compared identical twins to fraternal twins and asked these twins to report whether they had a G-spot or not. The researchers decided that the elusive erogenous zone can't exist because if it did, an identical twin who has a G-spot should have been matched by her twin; something anatomical should appear in both twins. But the identical pairs were not in agreement on having G-spots, which confirmed for these researchers that it’s an invention: “We postulate that the reason for the lack of genetic variation—in contrast to other anatomical and physiological traits studied—is that there is no physiological or physical basis for the G-spot.” Some skeptics are debunking the study for its small survey– 1800 women– and the fact that it relied on self-reporting. Said one blogger named ipanema at Under the Canopy.: “We all have our own ways of reaching cloud nine…Personally, I would not be troubled if it did not exist..."
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"...Truly lent insight into the way in which twins themselves interact with the world"
-Kellie Asaro
Just wanted to drop you a line to let you know I finished your book. And, I loved it! I have been recommending it to all of the twin parents that I know. I felt that your book truly lent insight into the way in which twins themselves interact with the world. How they see each other. How the world is different and particular to their situation. It was intimate, informative, and simply fascinating to hear all of the different stories. You have touched on so many different facets. Things I had never even thought about, as a parent, quite honestly. And so, I feel like I have a bit more to draw from as my boys grow and change. They just turned 3 last October. Thank you so much for writing your book!
Warmest regards,
Kellie Asaro
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- Reviews & Praise
Jennifer Nevadomski has a fun,,poignant blog about her four children and the one she tragically lost....She also has a business you should check out http://www.nevaland.com/ with great ideas for parents and parties. Her question was about how twins and the "other" sibling(s) -- she's right that the sibling can feel like the third wheel because the twinship can be so powerful and primary. In my book, I include a candid interview with my younger brother, David, (page 101) and he was so wonderfully honest about what it was like being the odd man out. The truth is that Robin and I love David so much, but the closeness is hard to compare, and that can be deflating or frustrating for David at times. My advice would be to make sure that each twin hangs out with the sibling separately, early on in their childhoods: make sure to help created separate memories or rituals, however small, where the sibling had each twin to himself (or herself) so that a distinct relationship is forged and solid. Even when twins have tensions or battles, the twinship usually is overpowers any other relationship in the family -- even often the parent-child bond -- and so it's crucial to keep an eye on the non-twins in the family to make sure they're in the spotlight too.
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"A page-turner chock-filled with information about twins "
-Pamela Weinberg, author of bestselling parent guide: "City Baby"
What is it like growing up as an identical twin, looking at someone else and feeling like you are looking into a mirror? Abigail Pogrebin drew on her own personal experience growing up with her identical twin, Robin, but she wanted to cast a wider net and explore available research as well as other people’s experiences. The result is One and the Same: My Life as an Identical Twin and What I’ve Learned About Everyone’s Struggle to Be Singular, a page turner chock-filled with information about twins from the scientific, to the psychological, to the emotional. Abigail interviewed numerous experts on twins and attended conferences around the world in her quest for information. The relationship between Abigail and Robin provides the backdrop for the book and is a moving and special love story between two sisters.
(Go to link for Q&A between Pamela and Abby)
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- Reviews & Praise
"I devoured this book"
-Rochelle Cunningham
Link: The Logan and Jack Chronicles
For Christmas my mom bought me this book by Abigail Pogrebin.
I devoured this book!
Josh said he has never seen me read a book so slowly. This was only because I was reading and re-reading every chapter. The information was just mind blowing. She covers every aspect of twinship. Parenting, separation, individuality, loss, everything… If you are a twin, have twins or are just fascinated by twins, I suggest this read.
I finished it a few weeks ago, totally in love with it. Then, ironically, today I got an e-mail from the author. She happened upon my blog and asked that I share her book and website with you. I feel so honored. On her website she has started a “Dear Abby” section where you can ask her any questions about twins you may have. Check it out: www.abigailpogrebin.com
And pick up this book!
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- Reviews & Praise
A wonderful blogger named Shelly directed me to Tuesday's Story on www.half12.blogspot.com.
The messages on this blog are restrained but also remarkably, generously candid. The video is poignant and hard to forget. My book has a chapter on twin loss, called "And Then There was One," which starts with the loss of an adult's twin -- Greg Hoffman lost his identical brother on 9/11--, but I also explore how parents of twins handle the loss of one. No, the grief isn't necessarily greater than any other, but it's unique. An organization called CLIMB -- the Center for Loss in Multiple Birth -- is an invaluable source of solace to parents. http://www.climb-support.org/
(Thank you to Shelly, whose blog should not be missed either: www.loganandjack.blogspot.com. Beautiful music, Shelly.)
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- that one or both sets are not identical (has DNA testing been done?)
- That they are the result of IVF - many couples won't disclose that. Still, having 2 sets of monozygotics would be unusual.
- A true coincidence
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Since my book came out, I've have received so many questions about how to raise twins, what are the common pitfalls, and what advice would I offer now that I've been through forty-plus years of twinship and two years of indepth research on twins. So I've decided to start my own "Dear Abby" column where anyone should feel free to ask me any question about twinship and I will do my best to answer your questions promptly, honestly, and thoroughly. If it means I have to do a little research, I'm happy to. I may not be a scientist or psychologist, but I interviewed virtually every major twins authority for my One and the Same, in addition to many adult twins, not to mention that I also have my own degree in "personal experience" and strong opinions on the subject. So I invite you to ask me, stump me, or offer your own advice in this space. Email your questions to apogrebin@gmail.com and put "Dear Abby" in the subject line so I'll know to open your message. I will also be blogging daily -- or almost daily -- about some fact or interesting tidbit about twinship so make sure to check in. I look forward to hearing from you. In twinship, Abby
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Gretchen Rubin is a friend and now a bestselling author -- her book about the year she spent road-testing ways to be happier (and researching every theory, philosophy and prescription for happiness) will make you look closely at your own life and how happy you are -- or aren't. I look forward to reading a chapter each night and you will, too.
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Dec 2009
A friend recommended "Shadow of the Wind" last summer and I've recommended it widely ever since....This quote stayed with me especially:
"Remember me....even if it's only in a corner and secretly. Don't let me go."
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